What To Do When an Alien Squid Attacks Your Cow.

Rejoice! That is, if your cow takes to the milking machine as well as Cookie does.

Senia and I tried to milk Cookie by hand. Cookie had been milked exclusively by machine before, and she didn’t appreciate pesky unknown humans grabbing her tender bits. After 3 weeks of spilled milk and cramped backs, I invested in a milking machine.

At first I worried I was giving in to industrial mechanization, eroding the pastoral poetry of milking by hand.

Then a lightbulb went on. I use a washing machine for my clothes, don’t I? Who would argue that washing machines remove the romance from life?

I'm glad we got a squid-like contraption to vacuum milk out of our cow. Cookie stands blissfully still now that her humans have two free hands for massaging her during milking. And I don't wake up with numb arms any more.